There are countless Internet dating sites, even some free ones, I should know, I was a member of a few of them. The funny thing is, when I finally met my husband, he was not a member of any dating sites, and he found me absolutely free.
Since then, I have seen a lot of guys trying to bewitch up women in various chat rooms and websites. I have often offered them this advice. Now, I offer it to you:
Do what my husband did when he found me!
It is so simple and it worked!
Are you ready for this? If you don’t already have Yahoo Messenger, you will need to download it on your computer. This is free. Simply go to http://www.yahoo.com and find the link for the messenger and download it.
Once you have yahoo messenger you will need to make sure your profile is filled out and includes a nice recent picture of yourself. Many people are turned off when someone chats with them and they click “view profile” only to find the person has not included any information about themselves.
It is very important that you are completely unbiased. If you are not just you are not going to find the person you are seeking in your life. The Internet is so perfect because you can weed people out quickly and not waste each other’s time getting to know someone only to find out that it will not work out.
For example: I am a non-smoker and I cannot stand to be around cigarettes. This is a very important thing to include in your profile if you are single and looking so you will not be bothered by smokers who want to date you. Be definite to include any information that lets people know what you do want, and what you don’t want.
Once your profile is perfected you are ready to find some candidates. Simply type into your browser, “http://members.yahoo.com/” and you are there! Do not use the search link you see on this page. Click advanced search, and skip the first four choices. You should be at Keyword or Phrase.
Be certain and use a keyword that is vital to you. My husband likes to play games so he was looking for someone to play games with, so he used, “Games” for his keyword. Unprejudiced for fun I tried “Associated Content” and Michigan and found 15 people with Associated Content on their profiles in Michigan.
Next you will see Gender, and age range and marital status. I am positive you can easily figure out how to select your preferences using the drop down boxes. When you get to location you can no longer put within so many miles of and enter a zip code like you used to be able to do, so you will need to choose a city or a state, but once the profiles populate you will be able to resolve among them only those closest to you.
I cannot acquire how often my messenger would pop up with a guy from California when I am in Michigan. When you are looking for that special someone, you want that person to be within dating distance of your home. This is a very important factor that many people overlook.
Next you have a checkbox option of viewing only profiles that include a portray. This can be useful if you are concerned about someone’s looks, however, I find most people don’t look a lot like their pictures anyway, so you have to resolve if this is essential to you or not. You could be ruling out people who you would really like if you don’t look at the ones that don’t have pictures. If you really like someone after chatting you can always exchange pictures via the Internet before you actually meet in person.
On the other side of the coin, however, you would not want to really hit if off with someone and then find out they were just gross and you could not even bring yourself to kiss them! So, it may be best to go with profiles that have a relate so you don’t waste each other’s time. Just bear in mind it may or may not be recent and it may not even really be them. You could always try it with pictures and if you don’t get enough results you could try again without the pictures.
Another thing you have to assume is if you want to click the box to only view people who are currently online or not. If they are not online you can read their profile and send them a message, but you may forget who they were by the time you hear back from them, so if you do this, I strongly suggest making a note of their name and why you were eager in them so if they write back you will be prepared to put on the charm and not be trying to figure out which one they were.
Before making initial contact you should read the person’s profile and jot down a few key notes to help you remember which things you have in common, why you are interested in this person and also to give you some ideas of pleasurable conversation starters. My husband did this and I knew from the first few minutes of speaking with him that he had taken the time to read my profile and wanted to get to know me.
You can region your yahoo messenger settings to save your conversations in the archives so you can view them again later to refresh your memory or update your notes. This is useful so you don’t have to write notes while you are chatting and you can go back later and review your conversation.
On your yahoo messenger you hit Messenger, then Preferences, then under category you hit Archive. From there you can easily see how to site it up to save your conversations. To view them later you can hit Contacts and Message Archive.
Another important thing to mention regarding initial contact is not to say anything sexually suggestive, which would make the person think you are only looking for sex. Your first question should demonstrate an interest in something you read in their profile, preferably something you have in common. Example: “I see you like Aerosmith too, what’s your favorite song by them? “
You want to ask open-ended questions, which are questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or a “no”. This helps keep the conversation flowing. It’s also a good idea to verify that it is a good time for them and you are not keeping them from anything important. This demonstrates respect and consideration for others.
Your first goal should be to get the person to like you and trust you well enough to give you their telephone number so you can have a real conversation. This is a big step, if you can get the person to let you call him/her it gives you a chance to make an even better impression.
Don’t try to rush it, however, depending on the person, it may take time for them to trust you with their phone number. When my husband called me we talked until 3:00 in the morning! What I loved best was his charming wit and how he openly admitted he was trying to find out how to win me over and he was taking notes!
We both went to work tired the next day, but excited because we had a date to meet each other after work and we already knew we liked each other a lot! Liking each other a lot before you even meet is huge. It was not awkward at all. I pulled up at the appointed meeting place (Never meet at either parties home!) and he walked up to me already talking, as if he were just continuing a conversation we had been having our entire lives!
We strolled along and visited and got to know each other even better, in a public setting, (It is very important to meet in a public setting, give someone information regarding whom you are meeting and where, and get to know them well before disclosing your actual address.) I realized he was truly who he said he was and I had nothing to fear, so we began our dating relationship.
This next step might not be for everyone, however, as my husband said when he asked me to marry him 7 weeks later, “When you know, you know” we were married exactly 2 months from the day we met for the first time. This would depend on you, and your relationship entirely. In our case, we both knew what we wanted and we had found it. We have now been married over 3 years and we are very happy. I wish you the best of luck and hope you also find your true love and live happily ever after!
